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things happen
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November 15, 2012 this tough cookie had me on our first call. he irritates me like how a brother irritates his sister. he said the way i "merengek" before going to bed was cute. when we first met, i was quite shocked to see him. he looked good, better than in pictures, i mean handsome. on the was to clementi, i felt a lil giddy as i hadnt had my meal but had a stick. so we stopped at a station to have a seat, and i was sweating. we then made out way. had our meal at long john. bought tickets for a movie at bukit batok, then head outside for a smoke break. we were smoking and he notice someone looking at me. he asked me to stand infront of him and act normal. he then hold my hand when we're going back in. while waiting for the life to the theater, he hug me so tight, as though i meant something to him. in the theater, he tried to kiss me, but i was a lil scared. as you know, everyone have a different way of kissing. thats what made me scared. so i moved back. while the movie was showing, i was a lil scared as it was gore, i hold his arms and hide my face behind him. after that, things happened. and here we are, one year later. happy 1st boyfriend. i love you.  June 24, 2012 well spent friday night with the boy at parkway. saw cikgu nurul ain, and she looked at me a few times. maybe she find me familiar thats why. hahaha, old times, old times.. to my dearest sya, please dont macam macam. i dont want anything to happen to you even though you weren't at fault, or even know about it. please take care of yourself. talk it out nicely with your parents. catch up and make yourself look important at work. im always here for you and you know it. unless im sleeping la. hehe. love you baby girl. June 18, 2012 bitch, get your story right. know what happen and who started the conversation first. cant you see that i dont wanna even meet him? read everything. and boy, what in the world are you trying to do? youre soon to be someone's husband. why the fuck are you still doing things like this. come on, grow up. like i say, dah ludah, jangan jilat balik. please la. i wouldnt want the boy to know about this, but i know im gonna tell him sooner or later. June 7, 2012 its been two weeks that i last met the boy. miss him much. but i have doubts. he said something that made me feel used. and i don't know if that's his way of talking or what, but i feel like ive been getting scoldings from him every now and then. and i always feel hurt for five seconds then im back to normal. he knows that i cant get scoldings, so he'd make me laugh again. i like him. i really do. i understand that he's busy with work and camp, so we only meet once a week. im fine with that as long as we communicate through phone. job? i actually got an offer from charles & keith, but i rejected it cause the pay for cashier wasn't that good. im still waiting for cotton on though. and, ive found twelve more jobs online. gonna get on the computer and renew my resume so i could send it as soon as possible. and as for myself, ive been feeling quite happy with myself. been in the mood to do everything. ive been actually cleaning my room and cooking. the last i did this was what, a month back? haha. its good to be this way, to feel this way. i guess he's the reason to me being happy. =) June 1, 2012 ya allah, its june now. im hoping for things to change for the better. to let go of the past and appreciate what i have now. in not asking for much. if anyone isnt meant to be here with me, please give me signs to leave. it hurts to be in the position im in now. ive been through so much for the past nine months. ive been staying strong for the past years. family problems, friends drama, heart breaks and all. just as things are getting better, it gets hard back. ya allah, please, show me the right way. |
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